Keep a weather eye....

Is it July 20 yet? No? Ahhh.. GREAT -- because that would mean I haven't written for a month and ... what? WHAT? It IS July 20th? Ok -- well, in the words of Emily LaTella (aka: Gilda Radner, SNL, 1976) ... "never mind".

In a sense it's been a relaxing summer. The 'in a sense' should be an indication that there has been some measure of NONrelaxation, but not enough to say "it's been a busy summer". Kevin and I made a financially unsound decision to go on a cruise this summer. Our 30th anniversary (yes, we were married at the age of 5) is this fall, but it's never a good time to try to take a trip, so this was our celebration. It was our first cruise and ... I suppose everything a cruise is supposed to be. Never having been on one, I could only compare it to The Love Boat series from whatever decade that was. I never saw one person play shuffleboard; our cruise director was male; and that guy from Barney Miller was not on board reuniting with an old flame. In that regard, it was very un-cruise-like. However -- it met most of our other expectations. :) Kev snorkeled with our friends who were also on the cruise. I, not being the snorkeling fan (hellooooo -- fish swipe up against your legs!) rented a fantastic mat and floated off the beach in water so blue it almost looked fake. We ate food displayed in impressive manners, saw Nassau for the first time, watched the moon over the ocean, ... I don't think anybody actually shouted "I'm king of the world"...but we did stand on the bow of the ship with the wind blowing our faces.

I do enjoy going new places - but mostly I enjoy being new places. The going part is a necessary evil. The two hour drive to Dallas, the three hour flight to Florida -- I could just do without all that. I even love to fly - but I'd like to be able to leave when I'm ready to and that just isn't possible on a plane. I've never tried it, but I'm fairly certain there are rules. A cruise is different -- while you're getting where you're going - you're also already where you were headed. The vacation destination for 100 days was "the cruise". So even though we went different places, as we traveled to them, we were actually already at our "destination". I'm trying to apply this to my disenchantment with "the journey" part of life. I'm always worrying about what is going to happen -- I want to know. Not necessarily details - just that it's all going to be ok. I don't like being on my WAY there.

I wonder if I could talk myself into a life-cruise.... This IS the destination ... the living - the day to day - sitting in a deck chair (figuratively) enjoying the wind and the waves. I'm headed other places, but I can enjoy where I am now without knowing what those islands look like. A good friend said to me once, "Joni, you KNOW how it all turns out." Yes -- I've seen the brochures of the paradise. I've been told about it. I know there are palm trees and white sand, hammocks and blue water. But what if a storm blows over and gets us off track? What if there are pirates that come aboard and steal our joy? What if we sink? What if.... ? I guess if all these things happen, the island will still be there. And the Captain promised to get me to the island. He did not promise a trip with no pirate attacks or storms, He promised a cruise. I'm going to try really hard to relax and enjoy the smooth water we're having today - and not worry about potential pirate attacks. :)