Mrs. Clean

There are several types of cleaning.
Day to day Cleaning (hahahaha)
Saturday Cleaning (optional if you get a better offer - like a root canal)
Company Cleaning (frantic and may involve hiding things)
Holiday Cleaning (you just want everything nice so the decorations can be seen)

There may be others (like I'd know...), but the most productive is Angry Cleaning.

Angry Cleaning is performed with an energy like no other cleaning. Power behind the sponge. A roll of paper towels and a full bottle of Fantastic. Not a speck of dust or one smear left on the countertops.

Angry Cleaning gets the windowsills scraped, and the lint filter rinsed. It frees the microwave of the 'whatever' splatter that's been there for two weeks, eliminates the layers of dust on the ceiling fan blades, and rewards one with the extra change collected behind chair cushions (if one is willing to reach into the dog hair and popcorn kernels to retrieve it).

The force behind Angry Cleaning is ... well, anger. Not irritation, or annoyance, or worry ... it's flat out bein' mad. The object of the anger isn't present, which is probably to their advantage. I wouldn't think a Brillo pad to the jugular could be pleasant. Every argument is perfectly presented. If you were an attorney and used the comments conjured during Angry Cleaning for your closing statement -- there would be a unanimous jury vote and the criminal would hang -- that very afternoon. There are no come-backs, no interruptions, no discourse. It's all you -- and what you want to say -- while you savagely use a toothpick dipped in bleach to get to the stuff that has collected at the base of the kitchen faucet.

I'm trying to make some sort of Biblical or spiritual application here, but the only one I can come up with is Jesus in the Temple; and to compare my swiping toilets with a vengeance to Jesus driving out money changers - well that feels blasphemous. Jesus' anger was justified, and to my knowledge no money-changer was fatally harmed during the filming of that event. I may or may not be justified in my anger, but at least I'm not acting on it in a way that destroys anything - except for the soggy celery in the bottom of the fridge.

jm1/29/11

Stuff on my fridge

I'm not even sure I believe in 'coincidence', but this is freakily 'coincidental'. I found something I'd written a long time ago that is even more relevant than it was when I wrote it. Seriously - it was a LONG time ago. However, if I post it now it will appear that I'm addressing current issues and a) I'm not; b) --there is no b). I just didn't want to end with a).

So, instead of posting that very relevant piece, I'll be weasling out on the blog tonight. In a way.....

My refrigerator is going to topple over one day from the weight of all the magnets holding photographs and messages and sweet mementos. There are a few things on there that have been around for as long as the dust UNDER the refrigerator (that's a joke - we've moved a couple times and didn't bring the dust along with us, so the dust is about 13 years younger than the items I'm thinking of).

One thing is a list of Twelve Prayers for Your Children --- a prayer for each month of the year. I got it when the girls were very little - from a church bulletin I think.

One is an article by Erma Bombeck that used to make me cry, then I went through a phase where it made me laugh maniacally, now it makes me cry again. One of those 'kids growing up' things about how the dirty socks won't be on the stairs one day, and you won't have to wipe popsicle off the cabinet drawers, ... yada yada ... then it ends with something like "one day you'll say, 'Why don't you grow up?'..and realize they did." That stupid Erma.

Another is a yellowed Gary Larson cartoon I cut out of a newspaper ... a lady looking out the window watching a group of kids run by wearing little coonskin caps and holding stick guns. "Look Fred," she says to her husband who is looking out the other window, "the kids are playing cowboys and indians." 'Fred' has a bewildered look on his face because out his window, he sees actual savages with bows and arrows and war paint ... chasing the children.
Yes, I know -- another example of my warped mind. Sorry -- I thought it was funny.

There are a few intelligent things on the fridge too ... and some pictures of people I want to remember to pray for, and pictures of kids we've known for a long time who are now young adults, but for some reason I still have their 7th grade football picture... There are current photos too, but the old ones are usually the ones I stare at while getting a drink of water, or trying to remember what I originally came to the refrigerator for ... (five minutes later: oh yeah...butter).

Moving on .... I saw this yesterday on the fridge - had sort of been pushed to the back of the right side to make room for more important things .... like Molly's report card from 10th grade (?) ... she's out of school now (?) ... I have no idea ...(?)

I started reading it for the zillionth time -- and thought, "wow". No... I mean, "WOW!"

The paper itself is torn in a couple of places, and has something (ketchup?) on one corner, it's very wrinkled, and I have no idea who originally sent it to me. I printed it from an e-mail, so I know I got it in 1999.

God Has an Answer for Everything
for all the negative things we have to say to ourselves,
God has a positive answer

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)


You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 13:34)

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Romans 8:28)

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your care on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I have given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

~jm~

Empty Spaces

The difference between a dent, and a hole:

A hole perforates and leaves an ugly opening. A hole is the absence of something...a void. It either has to be repaired by pulling the sides in and stitching, welding, or patching (in which case, the actual hole still there, it just isn't visible). A hole may require filling with another substance. A hole in the wall gets a smear of spackle. A hole in the ground is filled with dirt or concrete.

A dent is not a perforation. It is not an opening in a solid object. It is an impression, a "dip", an indentation (thus the abbreviated ' dent') in a smooth surface. It may be a big dent, or a tiny one, but it is a mar and depending on the angle you see it, may give the appearance of something missing.

Whether a dent, or a hole - there is a space left that needs to be filled. Here's the deal. To fix a hole, part of the original surface has been removed and will have to be repaired using something different than was was there to start with. To fix a dent, you use the exact thing that was formerly in the smooth surface. It is just returned - pressed back to where it was before. It was never really gone, just out of place.

jm1/23/2011

Be still...

"Be still and know that I am God." I don't know where that came from -- yes, it's from the Psalms, I meant I'm not sure why it keeps lolling around in my thoughts today --. It's very hard for me to 'be still'. When I can't be still, I'm omitting the most important part of the command ... "know that I am God".

Maybe it's a question, "Do you believe I AM God? Then why are you trying to get in the way?"
Maybe it's a consolation, "It's ok, shhhh.... I'm God and I'm taking care of it."
Maybe it's a reprimand, "Go sit still and I'll prove to you (even though I don't have to) that I am God."

I know I can't take away God's power. No matter what I do or don't do, He is in control. If I really believe that, then I'll relax and watch Him work ... in whatever way He sees fit.

Praying tonight for changed hearts and minds, healed relationships, forgotten hurts, and freedom from the past - for new joy, fresh perspective, and lasting promises.

One to the fifth

1-11-11

I don't really have anything to say ... I just wanted to be able to look back and see that I'd written something on 1-11-11 because I'll never see another one of those in my life. Yes, I know that next year there will be a 12-12-12 ... but who knows if I'll even be here? For that matter ... word on the street is we're all outta here in 2012. Just sayin ....

A friend posted as her facebook status today that it was a 'unique day - a day for new beginnings' along with the verse from Isaiah that says "Don't dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" (I think it's Isaiah 43:18, but I'm not taking time to check that right this minute).

I wonder why we assign specific days or numbers to new 'resolve'. I like that people do it -- I like that I can say, "well, it's now 1-11-11 ... anything I didn't set as a goal on 1-1-11 can be set today", but shouldn't every day be a day to start new? If I mess up today I ought not wait until 3-3-33 or whatever, to make a positive change.

I'm going to try harder to realize that every day is a special day even if it isn't numerically 'unique'. I'm going to try harder to let yesterday be yesterday and to look forward to tomorrow and the tomorrows after that without fear or dread. And mostly, I'm going to try harder to make today the best it can be...for me and everybody around me. And as for the 'word on the street' ... bring it. I'm ready. :)

jm
1-11-11

Focus Dailies

I have not 'blogged' in awhile (by definition, it's a computer task) - but I have written. You know ... that thing you do with pen and paper -- ideally at the end of the day -- in a spiral notebook that stays beside your bed -- the one that has doodles and scriptures and lyrics to songs -- quotes and the occasional dark smear that was once an angry outburst, but for which you were ashamed later so you tried to erase it, or wrote over it with a sharpie .... Everybody has one of these, right? If not, don't tell me -- I don't want to appear odd.

Just because I haven't written 'bloggishly' ... I have still had things I want to write about. Some I have, some I haven't -- some ideas are recurring and haven't been put on paper, but they weigh on my mind and my heart. There are things now that are too fresh to write about -- it doesn't mean I'm ignoring them ... I'm just pondering and praying. I know God is working - It just hurts to watch the process.

I have - for all intents and purposes - worn glasses since I was nine. I say that because they were prescribed when I was nine -- and in fourth grade. I wore them as I left the house in the morning, and when I got off the school bus I put them back on. However, .... well if you don't understand the mind of a nine-year-old, you are probably not mature enough to be reading this. By the age of ten the vision problems were severe enough that I was forced to wear the glasses on a daily basis. I hated them. H.A.T.E.D them. I wore glasses all through school - even into my freshman year at college. At nineteen I got contact lenses and have worn them since. The versions have changed over the years (so has my vision ... ahem ...), but the assistance has been necessary since I was nine.

The contacts I wear now are called "Focus Dailies". O that t'were true....
What a lovely thought -- focus -- new every day. At night, I take out these pieces of plastic that have lain on my eyeballs all day -- and I throw them away. They have helped me clearly see the things I needed to see. They have provided me the vision to see things I sometimes wish I hadn't. They are clouded, by the end of the day, with dust and pollen and whatever else it is that gets in your eyes and makes those little specks and blobs that settle in the corners. But, every night before I go to bed, I take those contacts out and I toss them in the trash. The next morning I put in a new pair of 'Focus Dailies' ... and I see fresh and clear all over again - without the yuck of the day before to make my vision murky and blurry.

Some mornings when I put in a contact, it doesn't feel 'right'. Usually, when this happens, I take the lens out, hold it up on my finger, and check to see if it was put in 'upside down'. Contacts are funny that way. You have to put them in with the sides turned up - sort of like a bowl. If the sides go up and dip out, there's a problem. I have no idea why. That's just the way it is. If you are having trouble understanding what I'm saying, you have probably never worn contacts. You can stick with this vague comparison, or move on...your choice.

So, a couple weeks ago, I was putting in my contacts and one of them felt scratchy. I waited a few minutes thinking it was just morning and my eyes needed to adjust, then decided it was worth checking. I took the contact out, held it on my finger with just the center of the 'bowl' touching, and took a look. Hmmm... I couldn't tell if it was a bowl with a lip, or a straight sided bowl. Is that right? It looks right. Well... then again ... Dang it .... I don't know! The only way to tell was to turn the darn thing the other way. So I did. There it was -- the bit of a dip to the outside (honestly, it's indiscernible -- I have no idea how people who already can't see are supposed to be able to find that!). Nonetheless -- I saw that the lens was indeed the right way to begin with, so I flipped it back over -- the way it was to start with, replaced it on my eye -- and -- all good.

How many times has that happened to me? A lot. You can't wear contacts the number of years I have and not gone through that at least three times a week. Lens feels scratchy, remove it from eye, check it for the right shape, and put it back in eye. Simple - and very un-thought-provoking. Until that day a couple weeks ago....

Wow -- I had to see that wrong before I could tell it was right. I couldn't tell, until I had flipped the silly lens over, that it was already in the right position to start with.

Have to see it wrong before I see it right ... well, I put the lens back in my eye, but the thought stuck in my head all that day (and obviously has remained there ever since - poor thing). I saw that same concept applied with my students' work. Four answer choices... If you don't know the right one, find the wrong ones. It will at least narrow down your options.

If you've never met me, or read previous writing, you may not know that worry and doubt and 'what if' are my Goliath. I'm telling you that now. (For confirmation please see post number ... well, that would probably be all of them.) So, it seems that when I get a little mind-jolting revelation from something ordinary, it pertains to the problem areas in my spiritual life.

Maybe God wants me to see it wrong sometimes. Maybe hurting and crying and worrying are the scratchy lens. I don't like how it feels. It's not pleasant. I'll take it out -- check it again -- no, it's right. It's all good. It's the way God wants it to be ... it was just unpleasant for awhile. Like my vision, life's not perfect. If I could see, I wouldn't need the lenses to start with. If my life was perfect, I would think I never needed God.

I do. I absolutely require those contacts to function. Without them I would be blind. I need God. Even when things don't seem to be going right, are awkward, unhappy, painful ... it's still good. It's in place, going the right direction ... for awhile, it just isn't comfortable.

My 'Focus Dailies' are the best solution for my physical impairment. If I put them in wrong, that's my fault. They can only serve their purpose when situated correctly. If I don't put them in at all, well I'm probably going to stumble and squint - things will most definitely not be clear. You make the analogy. I have to go take out my contacts.
JM-1.10.11